When you share custody of your children with your ex, communication can be hard. In the early stages of a divorce, both parties may have hurt feelings and find talking about anything with the other party to be almost impossible. There are times when one person is difficult. Maybe they are the reason for the divorce, or they want to continue to engage you in arguing. When one party is mentally unstable, you may need to hire a custody attorney to get your custody order changed. If you are still getting hurtful, argumentative messages from your ex because you have to talk regarding the children, there are ways to try and minimize your contact.
Nobody Has the Right to Treat You Poorly
If you were the peacekeeper in your marriage, you will discover that your ex wants this to continue in your divorce. This can lead to child custody battles when you tell your ex no and stand up for yourself. You may get threats, or be told how horrible of a parent you are. When you are getting messages, calls or emails that continually berate you, it's important to remember that nobody has a right to treat you this way. When the messages aren't making sense, there may be a need to further address your ex's mental health with the help of a custody attorney.
Break the Cycle of Confrontation
When your marriage was full of confrontation, it's time to end this cycle. You and your ex probably have a contentious way of communication that didn't work in your marriage. Don't expect that the same type of communication is going to work when you need to co-parent. Even when your ex wants to argue and makes rude statements, you don't have to engage in the battle. Pull yourself away, refuse to engage and don't try to defend yourself. Just because you receive a message, doesn't mean you have to respond.
Communicate Using Brief and Informative Messages
If your ex is looking for a fight, use brief, friendly, and informative messages. You don't have to answer to your ex anymore. Conversations should be about scheduling, emergencies with the children, school or medical issues. When communication strays too often, you may need to go back to court and file a contempt based on your ex's continued harassment.
When you have to communicate with a difficult ex, keep it simple. Refuse to fight back. Keep yourself a blank slate and don't let them see you upset. Be clear, communicate important information and take care of the children during your visitation.
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