It's no secret that divorce is difficult on everyone involved in the heartbreaking situation, but taking to social media to air your dirty laundry doesn't help anyone. In fact, making angry rants about an ex on Facebook, Twitter, or other social media pages can even come back to haunt you in court, and it can hurt children who may read it sooner or later. Reading bad things that your ex says can be even worse. Nip this problem in the bud by establishing social media ground rules with your ex from the start.
Talk It Out
Talk about the possibility of negative social media posts from the start. Ask for what you want and explain what you are willing to give. For example, if you don't want your spouse to mention the divorce on social media at all for a certain period of time, explain this and promise that you will also refrain from doing so for the specified period of time.
Make a Joint Announcement
When you two are ready to publicly announce your divorce on social media, you may decide that writing a joint announcement is the way to go. That way, all your friends can comment on the single post, and there are fewer possibilities for friends who have the inside scoop to leave snarky comments on either side. When people know that both sides are going to see the post, they are more likely to act civil. How you two discuss it will set the tone for how others do.
Make Name-Calling Taboo
Make a commitment that you won't publicly call your soon-to-be-ex any names on social media. Ask the same from your former partner. Talk about the possibility of passive-aggressive posts and how to deal with friends who want to dis your ex on posts. (Everyone has that one friend who wants to have their back even when it's embarrassing.) By making sure you're on the same page regarding name-calling, you can save yourself a lot of frustration.
Decide How Much to Share
You can request that the personal details of the divorce not be made public. If you decide to go that route, it's really important that you keep to the agreement and make sure that you only tell trusted friends the details. Otherwise, a well-meaning but blabbing friend could spill the beans in a comment and ruin the plan. On the other hand, you and your spouse may both be fine with sharing the details. It's your divorce, and it's up to both of you to set the ground rules for what you want to see or don't want to see shared on social media.
Finally, keep in mind that the social media life you have will change over time. As you grow further from your partner, you may find yourself wanting to post more negative things. Try to stick to the agreement. If you break it at any time, even inadvertently, try to correct the problem. If you can't, contact your spouse to clear the air. Open communication that's ongoing is the key to keeping your social media a positive place even when divorce drama abounds in your real life.
If you need a divorce attorney to help with this process or any other aspect of the divorce, contact a professional from a company like Eschbacher Law.
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